


Dog Daze

by vanillalime



Category: Law & Order: SVU, Oz (TV)
Genre: Community: hardtime100, Crossover, Dogs, Fluffy Ending, Light Angst, M/M, Some Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-02-09
Packaged: 2019-03-16 00:01:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13624254
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillalime/pseuds/vanillalime
Summary: Toby is not impressed with Elliot's four-legged friend.





	Dog Daze

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted from LiveJournal. Written for the Hardtime100 challenge prompt "Bad Animals by Heart." Takes place in an alternate universe (obviously), where a post-parole Toby is in an established relationship with Elliot. 
> 
> This story was also inspired by an OZSOME new manip made by colleendetroit.

  
(credit: colleendetroit)

Toby rolled his eyes at the glowing image in front of him. He watched in exasperation as a smug Paris Hilton leaned into the microphone and purred, "My advice? Don’t _stop_."  
  
Toby absentmindedly tapped the remote control against his knee. He drew a heavy sigh and muttered, "Van _Gogh_."  
  
"Van Gogh?" echoed the television.  
  
"Vincent Van Gogh is correct! You have just won $100,000 on _Up Your Ante_!"  
  
The stillness of the apartment was immediately broken by the deafening cacophony of the cheering studio audience. Toby quickly turned the volume down, only to hear the soft sound of Elliot chuckling behind him. Apparently, Toby had been so engrossed in _Up Your Ante,_ he'd failed to notice that Elliot was finally home from work.  
  
"You always know the answers,'" Elliot’s voice declared. "Maybe you should go on the show."  
  
Toby caught his breath and closed his eyes as a wave of déjà vu passed through him. He saw an incredulous Pancamo clap his hands, then heard Rebadow’s gentle voice repeat Elliot’s suggestion. Toby tightened his grip on the remote until he felt Elliot's warm body slide into place next to him on the couch. Then the moment was gone.  
  
Toby opened his eyes. He turned toward Elliot to give him a smile, but stopped short when he saw what was on the other side of him.  
  
"What the fuck is that?"  
  
Elliot grinned. Perched next to him, sitting as still as a statue, was a tiny white dog. The creature was a cartoon caricature brought to life, its ridiculously cute features exaggerated by the bright pink bow tied to the top of its head. It looked like something that could have fallen out of Paris Hilton's purse.  
  
Elliot slowly ran his hand down the dog's back. He glanced at Toby and said, "It's a Shih Tzu."  
  
"Gesundheit."  
  
Ellliot's grin slowly faded. "It's. A. Shih. Tzu," he repeated, enunciating each syllable. "A breed of dog. This is Xena, the Warrior Princess."  
  
"You’re kidding! That’s her name?"  
  
"Well, Xena for short is fine."  
  
Toby tried to move away from Elliot, hoping to put some distance between himself and Xena. Instead, he just found himself pinned against the arm of the couch. With a huff, he asked, "And what exactly is Her Royal Highness doing in our apartment?"  
  
"Olivia asked me to take care of her this weekend while she's out of town. Her regular dog-sitter had to cancel at the last minute."  
  
"Olivia has a dog?"  
  
"Yes, she does." Elliot carefully scooped Xena up in his hands and drew her face close to his own. Using a tone of voice Toby had never heard before, Elliot murmured, "Olivia has the cutest dog in the world, doesn’t she? Yes, she does! Xena’s the cutest dog ever!"  
  
Toby’s eyes went back and forth between the pitiful simper on Elliot’s face and the bored expression worn by Xena, a look at odds with the absurd bow on her head.  
  
"I have never seen you act so gay," he informed Elliot. "And that includes last night when you were sucking my cock."  
  
Elliot flinched slightly, but otherwise ignored the remark. He gently set Xena back down on the couch and turned toward Toby.  
  
"I had been thinking, maybe," he said cautiously, "we might _possibly_ want to consider getting a dog of our own. I figured we could use this weekend as an opportunity for a trial run. What do you think of Xena?"  
  
Toby snorted. "Not much, considering she doesn't purr or catch mice."  
  
Elliot cocked an eyebrow. "Hold on. Are you telling me you’re a cat person?"  
  
"Wow, you didn’t make detective for nothing."  
  
"But how on earth could you like cats over dogs?" Elliot asked incredulously. "Dogs are so much better."  
  
Toby recoiled at those words. "Believe me, Elliot, you do NOT want to go there," he warned in a low voice. "If you think you can change how I feel, you are sadly mistaken. I had this same discussion with Gen many years ago, and it ended with her in tears and with me embarking on a two-week bender."  
  
"Oh! Well, uh," stammered Elliot. "I’m just surprised, that’s all." Trying to backpedal, he added weakly, "Cats are okay, too, I guess."  
  
"Your enthusiasm is palpable," Toby retorted sarcastically. "What exactly do you have against cats?"  
  
"What do _you_ have against dogs?"  
  
Out of nowhere, Xena let out a short, yippy bark, causing Toby to jump nervously.  
  
With a sigh, Toby took a moment to collect himself. "Even if I had been a fan before," he said quietly, staring off into space, "I sure as hell wouldn't be after spending eight years in Oz. Now I associate dogs with riots and teargas and violence, with shakedowns and accusations and the careless handling of what few private possessions we were allowed to have. In my mind, dogs don’t exist for comfort or companionship, they’re meant to intimidate and control."  
  
"That’s… " Elliot began, then abruptly stopped. He hesitated briefly before finishing with, "too bad."  
  
They sat in silence for a minute, until a small smile slowly replaced the pained expression on Toby’s face. "Cats, on the other hand... " he continued, shrugging slightly, "cats are cool."  
  
He turned and looked directly at Elliot. Elliot held his gaze, then nodded his head once in understanding.  
  
As if on cue, Xena let out another bark. She began to climb over Elliot’s lap, and he quickly pulled her back away from Toby. Xena tried again, and the situation promptly devolved into a battle of wills.  
  
"I’m guessing she wants to go outside for a walk," Toby speculated. "She probably needs to go to the bathroom."  
  
Elliot glanced out the window and narrowed his eyes. "Huh. It appears to be raining now."  
  
Toby smirked. "Cats just need a litter box," he reminded him.  
  
Elliot grabbed Xena and stood up. He walked over to the kitchen and retrieved Xena’s leash from the counter. Xena repeatedly jumped and barked as Elliot tried to attach the leash to her collar. "Maybe getting a cat would be nice," he relented. "It’s certainly something we could look into."  
  
Toby got up off the couch and joined him. "Maybe," he agreed. He eyed Elliot carefully before adding, "But I wouldn't want you to do something you're not comfortable with."  
  
Elliot laughed. "All I've been doing since I met you are things I never thought I'd be comfortable with. Getting a cat pales in comparison to what we did in the shower the other morning."  
  
A sly grin spread over Toby's face, and Elliot added with a wink, "I think I'll be fine regardless."  
  
Toby tilted his chin up. "If we actually do this, though, I have another non-negotiable demand," he told him. "I'd never want to buy some fancy fucking pure-breed. I'd want to adopt from a rescue shelter." He swallowed hard. "Those animals in there deserve to be given some kind of chance."  
  
"Like I rescued you?" Elliot asked softly. "Gave you a chance?"  
  
"Something like that."  
  
"I think that’s a great idea," Elliot agreed. After a pause, he added mischievously, "Maybe we could even visit a shelter that houses both cats and dogs." He leaned into Toby’s space. "You never know what might catch your eye, what you might end up falling in love with."  
  
Suddenly, Xena lunged toward the apartment door with a surprising amount of force, nearly taking Elliot’s arm with her.  
  
"I'm coming, I'm coming," Elliot grumbled. Upon reaching the door, he opened it and looked at Toby. "You want to join us?"  
  
Toby laughed and shook his head. "Not a chance," he said. Then Xena pulled Elliot outside, and Toby quickly shut the door behind them.  
  
It was time for _Up Your Ante_ ’s double bonus round, and he needed the practice.


End file.
